With every passing day here in San Diego, California at the UC San Diego, I begin to realize that there is so much out there for me. Everyday now, I miss my volunteer week at Biloxi, Mississippi at the Hands on Gulf Coast facility more and more. There's just too much stuff to think about upon my departure from there, that it makes me just want to retun, do service, and only think about that, and not about the problems that seem so minuscle compared to any social issue affecting people in Biloxi.
Coming back here, into the reality of my life, I've come to notice quite a few things. I've been blessed to have all the things I do have in my life, whether it be the books that I read for my classes, the food that I buy at the Price Center or Sunshine Store, or the phone that I text people with. I never stop to think about those people in Biloxi who don't have a home to return to yet, or if they do have one, it is a temporary FEMA trailer. I never stop to think about the rights I have, like the right to register to vote and cast a ballot in every single election California seems to throw at us.
Pause for a moment. Ask yourself. Have you registered to vote? Have you thought about the shelter over your head, or whether or not a storm will come during the summer to wash it all away? Have you thought about living in your house, knowing that it's been covered in water and that mold is growing every day?
Taler Kane and I have been talking a lot, about how we miss Biloxi, MS so dearly. And you know what, I'm not lying when I say I do. I'm not saying it because I want to get on an airplane and travel or to add this volunteer work onto some kind of resume. I want to go back, because when I start to remember why I was there, what we were doing, and now just watching random YouTube videos of the destruction and how Biloxi was hit directly by the actual storm surges and hurricane powered winds, I start to realize, there needs to be something done about this problem. The problems of people not having homes, not being registered to vote, not being able to return to a place they call home.
And now being in San Diego and my current reality of what I call my life, there are some things that bug me. It bugs me when people want to question little things. It bugs me when people just want to make things that are so small into grand scale problems that don't affect anyone else but themselves. It irritates me that people argue about things they want, rather than things they need. Comparing this all to my experience in Biloxi, all those things seem so small. I can't stand it. I can't stand the ignorance of people. Yes, I know that not everyone will show the care in the world. But for me, I do care for these problems, and so I refuse to argue over something that won't change my life, your life, or the lives of people who are actually feeling like they have nothing to believe in, nothing to hope for. For those people who lost every ounce of hope and dignity in their lives, I just can't put myself in a position to argue about those small things anymore.
To put it all together, my "Biloxi Love" has grown more and more, and I just realized that I want to do long-term service around the United States. I want to do this. I want to commit to something that I feel will change people around me in a positive light, as well as change me into the person that I hope to become. I want to continue my quest to be the best active citizen that I can be. Not only that, but I do want to educate those people who are ignorant, indifferent to this world, and unknowledgeable about things that affect large amounts of people.
Giving our pitch for grant money to Vice Chancellor Penny Rue and Ed Spriggs last week really made me think about my experiences so far. It's only been two Alternative Breaks, but they have made me think so much about my life, the lives of people I know, and the people I don't know. I remember saying that for a moment, I forgot about the destruction of Hurricane Katrina. And, in actuality, I did. And, that really upsets me because I really did. Most people in this country already forgot about Hurricane Katrina, and even the terrorists attacks on September 11. It really boggles my mind, that there are these problems and resolutions that we need to address and find, but here some people are, finding other things to argue about, wasting their precious time in life to ponder about.
I don't know what it is, but although I'm physically here in San Diego, CA, I feel like I'm mentally in Biloxi and that my heart was there. The flame of passionate love for whatever it is I love to do is in Biloxi. Volunteering. Finding the time to forget about me for a second, and to think about others. I wish I could forget about me for longer, and just think about others more. The fact that whenever I think about Hurricane Katrina now, I think about gutting and demodling a house, people living in tents on top of their foundation, or homes being built on 20+ foot stilts. I think about how everyone was telling me that there was nothing that resembled a home, and that only cinder blocks for foundation remained of a home. I remember the Vietnamese Bakery we ate at, and after my return from Biloxi and flipping through Biloxi You Tube videos, seeing the bakery shut down. I remember driving along Beach Blvd. and realizing that this was covered with 20 foot storm surges. I see the homes that are currently in the low lying areas of Biloxi, and realize, that 3 years ago, they were all probably wiped clean off their foundations. I think about the disenfranchisement of thousands of people in Mississippi, and what people had to do to fight for the right to vote. I think about all the historical aspects of my trip, and what it meant to be in Mississippi in June 21, 2008. I think about knocking door to door in trailer parks, asking people to vote, and getting only one man in a motorized chair to vote (and why that affected me so much).
So with these memories and real life experience, I ask of you, to please think about the small things in your life, and to realize, that not everything is as bad as it seems, and that, to put things into a larger perspective. Before opening your mouth, before speaking your mind, think. Think about what other larger things people are thinking about and how things like Hurricane Katrina have changed peoples lives forever. Then, notice the things in your life that you have turned into quite a big deal, and realize, that they aren't life changing, they don't matter as much as you think, and that there are bigger, greater things to think about. Time is precious, and our lives are beautiful. Make the best of it, and don't sweat the small things.
As you can see, my love for Biloxi is so great. When I was there, I felt welcomed. I felt strange for the first few days being there, but after a few days, I felt like I didn't want to leave. I don't know if its something they call "Southern Hospitality", but comparing to the way Californian's act, I feel like anything is hospitable. I feel a greater sense of real community when I went there. Even among volunteers, there's a niche for everyone. People are so much nicer, and so receptive to one another. This was one of my "AH, HA!" moments for me, just like Jayne would say. I've cried or at least teared up thinking about Biloxi these weeks after coming back. It's been quite a transition out of my week there. I know for a fact, that this drive and motivation will not be drained, and that I'll try my best to channel it into Alternative Breaks@UCSD, and hopefully my future endeavors, like graduate school, long-term service, and even into my career. But for now, I will re-enter what I call reality, and see what I can do to affect those that are close to me, and have people gain the understanding I have gained. If not, then so be it. I know I have all you ABCs 2008: Biloxi, Mississippi participants out there who can support me, and that's all that matters.
As long as I know one person in this world cares for the same cares I do, I'll be happy. It always starts, really, at just one.
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