Journal Entry 17 - Windsor at Victoria Heights, Rowland Height, CA

Of all the things I expected to do in life, I never thought I'd find myself committing to volunteer service like I have done so far and will hopefully continue. Upon my return from Biloxi, Mississippi, a wave of ideas, thoughts, and aspirations come into mind. Many, many waves, of these little epiphanies strike me off balance, but off balance in the sense that I have a new direction to go and feel out to see if that direction can work better for me.

My trip to Biloxi, Mississippi, simply put, was amazing. It was such a profound experience that I can't even believe that I'm back in my everyday life. Rebuilding Democracy in Biloxi is definitely not an easy task to do. There's just so many issues that revolved around hurricane Katrina rebuilding efforts, commercialism and the casinos, voter registration, laws, policy, and life on the Gulf Coast.

A flow of emotions came through me this past week. Some that I didn't really believe I would encounter. I experienced happiness with meeting the group of site leaders Ashley Smith, Ashley Hall, Jenny Fisher, Meghan Oakley, and my co-site leader, Kari Pyle. I was filled with excitement to meet the staff, Jill, Jillian, Sam, Kelly, and Crystal. I was overly happy, excited, and thrilled to meet the members as they filed in at different times of the day.

I remember the very first two members that came through the door. Emma Smith and Dustin Newcombe arrived at the same time. This is the moment that this experience started. I realized at this moment upon seeing them, that I was going to have duties of being a site leader, and that I'd be thrown for an experience that would change the way I think about issues, the way I think about service, and my thoughts about Alternative Breaks at my school and as a National Movement.

The people I have come to meet through this experience puts me in a sense of awe. First of all, I'm so happy to have met so many people just as in love with Alternative Breaks as I am. That sense of care, passion, love, devotion, and commitment keeps me enthused, motivated, and optimistic about Alternative Breaks and life in general. To know that people feel the same way I do on even a few things makes me feel validated about why I choose to continue doing Alternative Breaks and why we deal with people, differences in choices and opinions the way we do.

To gain a sense of understanding of people, and for people to understand me, has been a total shock. For people to agree with me, or even disagree in a healthy way is enough to make me love Alternative Breaks that much more. The things I have learned education wise puts me into a loop. I didn't realize that I would learn so much about the social issues involved with the service we would be doing in the week in Biloxi.

I'd like to thank the wonderful staff, the engaging members, and the inspiring site leaders for all they have supplied me in terms of knowledge and support. Everyone at the Alternative Break Citizenship School in Biloxi really brought me more knowledge than I ever thought I would gain. Meeting so many passionate people in one place makes me have that happy, warm feeling inside. It's so rare to meet so many passionate people who ARE active citizens, putting service, volunteerism, education, social justice, and diversity in the forefront of their lives.

I've never been surrounded by this feeling of support and love that was formed at the ABCs. The Green Wood Ducks was another adopted identity that played it's own role in group dynamics and group cohesion. Not only that, we were split on service days. We proved ourselves flexible and inclusive by taking in members from the Purple Dolphins and the Yellow Bees. We made them a part of our team with no question. I hopefully succeeded at not excluding people, only when we would yell "Quack" to get our group together. Of course, there's always friendly competition. Other than that, the group identity was that of the bigger, larger group identity. That is, being a part of ABCs 2008: Biloxi, Mississippi - Rebuilding Democracy. That is what I'm so proud to be a part of and grateful to have spent a week with such amazing people who inspire me just thinking about them.

Leaving these people was so far. I actually shed tears during the graduation portion. I did not think that this experience would be so emotional, but all things passionate are usually tied to emotions. That sense that we are all physically separated, is a feeling of emptiness and loss. But, I know that we will all adjust to a sense of normalcy, but we will never forget the memories and good times that we all shared in Biloxi. We will find ways to see each other again, somehow, someday, somewhere, we will all meet again. Life is full of experiences and possibilities, so now, I'm going to go with that and just do it. With that, I end this.